we build walls

this is an old poem which i wrote years ago but found again recently and thought i'd post it...

we build walls

there are things i will not say like,

‘i still love you’

we build walls

with pens on paper

with tongues in mouths

with hearts

            slow and silent to move behind cages

we build walls

to keep people out

i build a wall

to keep you in.

i wish time would erase you from me

like the Cape Doctor

dispels smog from our skies

but you linger…

the distant memory of you

still warms all of me.

i think i have forgotten

how your tongue makes

sound against teeth to

form words

how your eyes grow when you laugh

i think i have forgotten how fast you eat

how you cut meat and veg into pieces

and heap them onto your fork

how you chew wildly

i think i have forgotten how you sound

i think i have forgotten how warm your hands are

but i have not forgotten

why i love(d) you

and this keeps my heart still

it does not walk

it sits

   lies

   sleeps here

in a bed of you memories

we build walls

when we pull ears from hearts

when we pull eyes from souls

we build walls

to keep people out

to cripple ourselves in

but it is comforting

…it is what we know

Toni Stuart - 2007